¤ 117 - Icing On The Cake
Dr. Farkas: You snapped your wire eating a bagel?
Betty: Yep.
Dr. Farkas: Was the knife still in it?
~~~~
Alexis: (about Grace) Hey Danny, that person you don't know? She's in your bed!
~~~~
Ignacio: Mrs. Meade, what do you take in your coffee?
Claire: Vodka and ice, hold the coffee.
¤ 118 - Don't Ask, Don't Tell Marc:
(to Jean, his mother) I am..uh..breaking up with Betty.
Jean: Oh, thank God!
Marc: Wait, you didn't like her?
Jean: Marc, honey, let's be honest. With that hair and that face, what were my grandchildren going to look like?
~~~~
Betty: Favorite Disney princess?
Marc: Oh, Mulan!
Henry:
(While walking away) Cinderella. Her mother always read that to her before bed.
~~~~
(Marc is trying to stop Betty from leaving the house to go after Daniel)
Marc: He is your ex-boyfriend and I am your current boyfriend!
Betty: He is my boss and you are an idiot!
Marc: Oh boy! Are we gonna talk about this in couples counseling!
~~~~
Ignacio (about being under house arrest): I'm going stir-crazy in here. I'm starting to forget the feel of rain, the smell of freshly mowed grass.
Hilda: Papi, we live in Jackson Heights. The grass smells like fried onions.
¤ 119 - Punch Out
Constance: Hold still, Nacho.
(as she cuts off his electronic ankle bracelet) Ooh, looks like someone’s getting a little boo-boo there.
Ignacio: I tried wearing it under my socks.
Justin: My idea, it was ruining his pant line.
~~~~
Betty: Morning, Amanda.
Amanda (covers up doodle of Betty): Oh hey, Betty, I was just thinking about you.
Betty: Oh really? That’s nice.
Amanda (watching Betty walking away): Wow, they’re even bigger than I remember.
~~~~
Christina:
(about Daniel) Betty, you're addicted! If he were a drug, you'd sell your nephew for a bag of him!
~~~~
Betty (about Daniel): He hasn't changed his socks since Tuesday!
Christina: His socks? Next thing you'll be packing his lunch for him!
(pause) Oh, Betty, you didn't!
~~~~
(Christina shortens Wilhemina's skirt)
Wilhemina: Higher. I said higher!
Christina: Any higher and I'll be giving you a pelvic exam.
¤ 120 - Petra-Gate
Daniel: Well, are we ok?
Betty (nodds) Of course we are.
(Daniel sighs in relief)Betty (angrily) 16?! ARE YOU CRAZY?! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!
~~~~
Amanda: If I were a gay guy, I would so tap that.
~~~~
(Amanda to Tavares)Amanda: Great sex and free clothes. Wait, there will be free clothes, right?
~~~~
Henry: I missed you.
Betty: I missed you too.
~~~~
Daniel: This is an editorial meeting, I am editor-in-chief, why wouldn't I be here?
Alexis: No open bar, for one thing.
~~~~
Hilda:
(to Betty) A job isn't just about making friends, it's about making money. And stealing office supplies. By the way, we're out of coffee filters.
¤ 121 - Secretaries Day
Betty: You are such a dork.
Henry: You know you love it.
~~~~
Rodrigo: Why wouldn't you want to go to Brazil with me?
Alexis: For one, because I've got sideburns and a mustache in my passport photo.
~~~~
Hilda:
(about Valerie) She's 130 pounds of bitch!
Valerie: What did you say?
Hilda: 120?
~~~~
Marc: That was hi- wait for it- larious!
¤ 122 - A Tree Grows In Guadalajara
Betty:
(To Hilda) You know you were a lot smarter before you got engaged.
~~~~
Wilhemina: (Going through Tavares's collection) Burn it, Burn it, O..O..O
Tavares: (whispers to Amanda) Is that good or bad?
Amanda: I don't know. She's never used the 'Triple O'.
Marc: It's bad.
Wilhemina: Tavares, I'm sure you thought putting coconut shell buttons on this jacket was adventurous, but you've just murdered a blazer.
Marc: Murderer!
~~~~
Hilda: Papi. Papi. Tell them that you didn't get your complimentary travel kit 'cause if I can get another, I can use them as bridemaids's gifts!
¤ 123 - East Side Story
Diane: Oh my God! That is so romantic. It's like Julia Roberts flossing before whoring herself in "Pretty Woman".
~~~~
Marc: Inhale Ricky Martin, exhale Colin Farrel.
~~~~
Daniel: When I thought you were dead, I visited your grave every Sunday. Sometimes I still want to, because I still miss you.
~~~~
Diane (To Betty): You are Drew Barrymore!
...
Diane: Okay, maybe I do escape to the movies a little more often than I should, but this is your movie, Betty.
Betty: It is?
Diane: This is your chance for the happy ending you've always wanted!
Betty: Yeah.
Diane: Now go home and put on some totally cute top and run a brush through that hair — or maybe a hat! And go and stop that plane! You're Drew Barrymore!
(
Betty gets her stuff and is about to run out of Diane's office but comes back.)
Betty: Wait, I have my nephew's show tonight, and I don't have Henry's flight number and what about security? I --
Diane: Drew Barrymore!!
~~~~
(Amanda walks in on Henry and Betty in the copy room)
Amanda: Ewww! Dorkus interruptus!
~~~~
(Betty brings Daniel a rock from Mexico)
Betty: It's supposed to be mystical. The old man who sold it to me said it would help you on your journey to enlightenment. Or with cramps. My Spanish really sucks.
